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Click on a title
to see your
new mate! |
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A
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Cy
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F
H
Ih
Lj
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O
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Rs
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SnL
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Asian
= Black
= Cyborg
= Divorced
= Female
= Human
= Incredible
__Hulk
= Lumberjack
= Male
= Obtuse
= Quaker
= Reciprocating __saw
= Single
= Snow Leopard
= White
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A
B
Cy
D
F
H
Ih
Lj
M
O
Q
Rs
S
SnL
W
|
=
Asian
= Black
= Cyborg
= Divorced
= Female
= Human
= Incredible
__Hulk
= Lumberjack
= Male
= Obtuse
= Quaker
= Reciprocating __saw
= Single
= Snow Leopard
= White
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1)
I'm Too Much!
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This
witty, ambitious professional loves big budget films, the Olive
Garden, and rote memorization of Seinfeld. Looking for a fit, outgoing
college educated SWF, 20-30, who enjoys athletics, serious
partying, and a little romance. Come share the night with me, and
I'll try not to gouge you with my menacing hook hands.
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2)
Me Hulk, Me Want Fuck
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| S/IhM,
27, seeks IhF or plus-sized S/HF (600 lbs+) for busting
through brick walls and tearing apart each other's clothing. Green
skin preferred, but purple or gray skin also acceptable. Must be able
to convert to human form for peaceful candelit dinners, and then back
to hulk form for 36 hours of bed-breaking hot hulk fuck action. |
| 3)
Punish This Twisted, African-American Quaker! |
| SBFQ, 24, sensitive but
outgoing, abhors warfare and enjoys unstructured Sunday meetings that
combine worship, community governance, and intimate self-reflection.
Seeking massively powerful dominatrix type to curb my impiety with
spiked heels and fast-acting, thumb fitted dildo. Make me pay for
my irreverence, you chesty she-beast! |
| 4)
Do You Have At Least One Angle That Is > 90° ? |
| S/O triangle
seeks an attractive, well built scalene triangle for candlelit dinners,
precision dog training, and radial measurement. Must have massive
hypoteneuse. Let's get congruent! No equilaterals, please. |
| 5)
Frustrated News Personality |
| I'm Hugh Downs, debonair DWM,
71, former host of ABC's 20/20. Looking for a SF, 15-20, whose
heaving bosom will inspire the same enormous erections I got watching
NBC's Garrick Utley lay into a scandalously intoxicated Barbara Walters.
One time the old bat gave me a handjob under the desk! |
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6)
Hope You Can Maul!
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| SWM, 25,
seeks easily provoked SnL whose lightening claws make quick
and easy mincemeat out of sleeping people's faces. Ability to cause
permanent disfigurement preferred, but also interested in potentials
of emotional scarring. Let's get together and transform someone's
nightmare into a reality! |
| 7)
Tranduce Me! |
| This cryogenically preserved, fully
intact nervous system is looking for S/DCy host for cloning,
replication, and maybe something more... Seeking sturdy construction
from weight tested alloy, or space-age polymer. Barrel shape with
rolling tred a plus. Flight capabilities preferred, but super-human
jumping ability is acceptable. Friends first. |
| 8)
Are You a Tenacious Reciprocating Saw? |
| D/Lj, 31,
seeks a hard working, impeccably sharp Rs for companionship
in just sawing up the place. We'll let our hair down and cut my staircase
apart, together. Must be fully rechargable, and still under warranty.
If you're good, I'll let you saw my mouth into a fleshy oblivion! |
| 9)
Desperately Seeking Saw-Man |
| S/Rs, 2, seeks sturdy Lj
with callused hands and an insatiable appetite for cutting. Must oil
me up regularly, and be willing to occasionally let me saw into your
own leathery flesh. It won't hurt. That bad. No carpenters, please! |
| 10)
Ball My Husband! |
| AF, married, 41, seeks well-spoken,
masterfully endowed SM to enter home and brutally savage husband
who needs to learn how to bone. Must enjoy the odd, educational ass-blast.
I want you to bust this fucker! |
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